I'm imposing a PAUSE & BREATHE initiative upon myself.
You hear me brain? Time to take a breather!
Old ideas and shit-fire, this is a no fly zone.
This time, you're going to do things differently.
My favourite thing in this current self-enforced stop-and-smell-the-roses moment is to build my secret manifestation board on Pinterest. Images have always been the way I lead my life (in reality and when I'm off with the fairies). I start there and creativity is born, followed by action, which breeds joy. So I thought I'd share a little of my journey so far…
Before, whenever I felt overwhelmed, I would just push through it.
No wozzas. I'd just carry on like a bull in a china shop that had a never ending credit card behind the counter. Replacement and transference was so second nature to me, it became my nature. Whenever I was on my journey from point A to point B, my inner voice sounded like Dory "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…" So that's what I did - coz as if you ignore Ellen DeGeneres when she's in your head.
I would switch that emergency generator on and let it hum away until my buzz came back. The worst thing I could think of was letting that engine conk out, I mean what the hell would happen? Surely, if I took a second to pause the whole world would stop turning, right? (hello only-child-syndrome!) So I quickened my breathe, sped up my pace and the rate at which my ideas flowed. Anything to avoid slowing down!!
I did that for a long time. But then I broke.
One day when I flicked the switch to that emergency power supply, nothing happened. And instead of stepping back, I worked harder and faster at trying to get the switch to do something. But that little f*cker just didn't budge! The emergency supply of energy had run out. I had reached for it far too many times and had begun treating it as normal. Digging deep and running on fumes had become a new kind of normal. But now I was broken and so was the engine.
And I didn't even know it. But now I do.
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And so comes the turning point.
The opportunity to shift.
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It happens to us all from time to time.
Some people will ignore it because it's frightens them, some people will make the leap and some people, if you're anything like me, will jump at the cliff knowing there will be welcoming waters at the base of the fall...
I'm not saying it's easy. In fact it can be brutal and it can be sad.
But after a few shifts, you get to know the first signs when the winds begin to change. Like leaves falling off trees in Autumn or flowers blooming in Spring - you know what's coming, so this time you can be ready for it. You have no idea where you'll end up, but you can welcome the journey, because whilst you know it's going to be tough, even tougher than before, the excitement of what will be born from this change is inexplicable.
And all of a sudden the pilot light is sparked again.
This well oiled engine begins to hum a new tune. No need for emergency generators because this time when it's overwhelming you'll take a step back and look around at all the magic you're a part of. You'll know the waters will be there to catch you but when you jump, but this time you'll enjoy the fall too. Like the storm before the calm.
So now I'm like a ninja in a china shop - you didn't even see me get from point A to point B.
And by the way, I took the credit card.